I don't know what I don't know.

2008 was not a good year for my close relationships. It was a year I stumbled to do what I should be doing.
I’ve learned sometimes people surprise the heck out of you and do something so wonderful for you, there are no words to even begin to thank them.
This was the year I learned my husband is always right, he doesn’t really listen to what you’re saying before he tells you the right way to think. But since he’s always right, you should just listen anyway.
It was the year I learned that the people you need the most, don’t need you and the people who need you, are not people you need.
This year I learned sometimes it’s best to tackle a project by yourself. Sometimes it’s best to have a second set of hands.
Randy hates to work by himself. Reanna is the same way. She wants you to participate in everything she does. Randy doesn’t see that the two of them are alike. I think it’s amazing.
I’ve learned no matter what medications I’m taking, I don’t have the patience I should have. I’ve also learned that Randy is much better at explaining things to the kids than I am.
I’ve learned if I listen, God will speak to me and if I search his word, I should find my answers.
I’ve learned if you search for answers in the Bible, several people will give you a verse a day calendars.
I’ve learned there is nothing like a good cup of coffee and the stuff we have at work is nothing like a good cup of coffee.
I’ve learned for a mom there is no such thing as a vacation and if you take one, you’ll pay for it forever but if you don’t take one, you’ll pay for it forever too.
I’ve learned it’s different for Randy to go somewhere with his friends to recreate, then it is for me to go somewhere with my kids.
I’ve also learned that staying home with the kids is sometimes more work then going somewhere.
I’ve learned that six or eight three day weekends for a man is much less time then 2 full weeks for a woman.
I’ve learned summers are short.
I’ve learned emotional outbreaks are only my problem, even if the outbreaks aren’t mine.
I’ve learned puppies grow very fast and before you know it they are full grown dogs.
I’ve learned these same puppies and dogs don’t wag their tail, their tail wags them.
I’ve learned “straight run” chickens are mostly roosters.
I’ve learned sparrows can eat a lot of chicken food.
I’ve learned when it comes to driving, you can’t teach experience. That’s something that has to come with time.
I’ve learned if Randy asks for your help he means side by side.
I’ve learned laundry, dishes and cooking are not work and are completed by elves or some other mythical creatures while you work side by side with your husband.
I’ve learned it’s more expensive to go to a potluck then it is to cook at home.
I’ve learned I really hate to talk on the phone.
I’ve learned if you’re really constipated the best thing is to relax with a glass of wine.
I’ve learned sometimes God gives you what you deserve be it good or bad.
I’ve learned no matter what the instructions say, never put the cap on a muzzleloader until it’s ready to be fired.
I’ve learned that life is short and sometimes kids don’t outlive their parents.
I’ve learned parents who have lost a child have the greatest belief in God.
I’ve learned that even a new heart condition will not make believers out of all men.
I’ve learned according to the human resources at Qwest, that new heart condition is not considered a serious illness.
I’ve learned that our insurance only pays for 40 weeks of therapy a year.
I’ve learned you can see a therapist 40 times in a year and she still will never see the outbursts.
I’ve learned the maximum amount you can put into a health care spending account is $4000 and that doesn’t even come close to covering a families total out of pocket health care even with good insurance.
I’ve learned you really can give and give and give until you’re just a hollow shell of a person.
Did I mention I’ve learned I really hate to talk on the phone?
I’ve learned I don’t even know what I’ve learned. You don’t know what you don’t know so how can you learn what you don’t know?

Christmas 2008

Well, we made it through another Christmas season. They are never without concerns or trials. My beautiful sister fell at work and ended up with a gnarly concussion for the holiday. She was lucky to be able to join us for Christmas dinner. She has a very limited amount of time each day that she can be awake and she’s in quite a bit of pain, but she did her best to survive the wild crowd at moms.
Christmas dinner was fabulous. We had ham, turkey, and all the stuff to go with it. We were a place setting short but with all the last minute preparations it went unnoticed and with Mary’s short span of being able to participate it wasn’t a problem at all.
Mary’s X, Claudia’s dad, Jeff came to Christmas dinner with us. He and Randy sat and gabbed for quite awhile. Claudia also brought her fiancé, Lee and it’s always nice to see him. I sure hope he’s as nice all the time as he seems when he’s around us.
Bert was in good spirits and Rachael actually joined us this year. I didn’t realize it but this was her first year having Christmas with us.
Cassey and her kids were there too. It seems a little weird to have Bert’s X and her kids still joining us for Christmas but I guess just because they aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean she’s not still part of our family.
Even Celestia was in good spirits. Who can say why on that one.
Jon and Sherry seemed good and man Josie is sure growing fast. I think Jon really liked the Snoopy shirt I gave him for Christmas. He put it on right away and wore it all day. It was very cute.
I think Christmas morning was great at our house too, but boy, it’s a lot of work to be the mom. I realized quite a while ago that Randy doesn’t participate in Christmas. He really doesn’t shop, decorate, prepare meals, set up Christmas eve, wrap, or do anything else. Every now and then he asks what he can do to help, but if I told him to wrap, shop, bake, decorate etc, he would tell me I was stupid to do it and I shouldn’t go to all that work. “You create all this work for yourself, you know.” So why ask?
I realized that most of our Christmas traditions are from Randy’s family. The big breakfast Christmas morning with crepes and strawberries, orange juice etc is from Randy’s mom’s house. There are days of preparations that go into just that meal. You wouldn’t think so, but if you buy fresh strawberries you run the risk of them going moldy before Christmas morning and if you buy frozen you have to make sure and defrost them the night before. So you have to plan which kind and then if you do choose frozen, don’t forget that Santa should take them out the night before. If you choose cool whip, that has to be defrosted with the berries, but the canned stuff doesn’t. If you choose the real stuff that’s one more step in your morning process.
I don’t think the morning process would be such a big deal if I got a little bit of help cleaning up afterwards. But as soon as I’m done with breakfast, I better have dinner stuff ready too because by the time breakfast is over, it’s well after noon and we’re supposed to be at Mom’s at 2pm.
I’ve learned even if you tell people, we need to bring chairs, and not to forget the box of champagne on the front porch, they will get left behind regardless. At least mom’s is close and we’re not traveling 800 miles and forgetting the chairs.
The jello salad with applesauce is another tradition from Louise’s house and it wouldn’t be Christmas without it.
I made a couple of JoAnn’s cheesecakes for the Christmas Eve party at Todd & Polly’s, and one for mom’s house too. Normally I don’t do that but since Mary usually is in charge of desserts and with her concussion, she was very limited, I volunteered. I also got the assignment of mashed potatoes for 20 people. That in its self is a big deal. I didn’t think I had a pan big enough for that, but as it turned out, I did fine.
I still find it amazing that you can get 20 people together in a small house, everyone cooking and working around each other and the only one with a temper is me… I threw a little hissy fit when I realized how hard I was working to get everything together and my kids were playing. In addition to getting everything ready, I had to plead with them to get their dang shoes on, and after that we forgot the chairs and champagne after I had reminded everyone days in advance not to let me forget.
Anyway, that hissy fit was soon forgotten and everyone was fine.
If I have the biggest temper in the entire house, you can imagine that the merriment was abundant. No fights, no quarrels, no arguing, only love and acceptance.
Boy do I feel stupid. If I would just remember Colossians 3:23 and keep it in my heart so I would understand that this isn’t someone else’s fault.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Would I have expected God to bring the extra chairs and the champagne? You know, I think I would have. My guess is he would have taken them without asking because he always looked for a way to serve. He would have not taken a seat at the table if we were one short.
“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men.” (Proverbs 22:29)
So should I feel guilty because of my little outburst.
Maybe, but I’m not going to. I apologized and told everyone I was sorry and I’ve already been forgiven. 1Peter 3:18. “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit.” I just need to keep my focus where it belongs and keep my focus for this holiday on Christ. The king of Kings the Lord of Lords, the Alpha and the Omega and every knee will bend and every person shall bow.
I’ve been working so hard on humility including humility with my own children. I need to value them for who they are. I also need to teach them to serve.
My sister still needs help with her concussion. The kids have each volunteered to spend an evening with Mary and they need to have the expectation of serving, not being served. Imagine what the world would be like if we were all Christ like, wanting to serve and to love.
That’s another thing I’ve really learned from my husbands family. Louise serves her children endlessly. She never complains. She is amazing. I feel the same way about JoAnn except she serves and these aren’t her biological children. Her health isn’t as good as Louise’s but in every way she is capable, she continues to serve. I never hear her complain, she just continues to serve.
I don’t have that physical example in my family. My mother isn’t capable of physically serving at all. We as her children should be honored to serve her. I think we leave a lot of that to Rosie and we shouldn’t. My mother is more of the emotional server.
How amazing is it that I would end up blessed by these women so much? How amazing is it that God would give them to me to lead me even from 800 miles away. I can only look at these woman as a gift. Something I don’t deserve. Like Grace. I don’t deserve Grace but God has given it to me.
So it comes full circle again. We celebrate the birth of Jesus and from this gift I realized I’m blessed. I’m blessed with great examples and I’m blessed by grace, that I don’t deserve.
Ephesians 2 8&9, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.”
If I try to boast that I work hard doing everything to celebrate Christmas, I need to realize Christmas celebrates me.

Christmas Season

I find it amazing that the God of all creation, the one who hung the stars, who spoke and it was, chose to come to this earth, not in a fiery chariot blazing across the sky above the temple, or even in a sleigh pulled by eight tiny reindeer, but came as a helpless infant baby born in a cow trough. The creator of all heaven and earth came not to the religious leaders of the time, but to the poor. God, who is and was all things, was not born in a palace with angels to care for his every need, but in a manger. He came to the meekest, not to the best. He came to give us a gift, a relationship with him. So when you’re out shopping this season and you’re thinking of Christmas gifts, remember the greatest gift of all.